Buffy the Vampire Slayer – “The Final Cut”
Dark Horse Comics – April 1999
Writer: Andi Watson
Artists: Jason Pearson, Cliff Richards, and Joe Pimentel
AND: Guy Major
Editor: Scott fuckin’ Allie


Well. Here we go. Buffy vs. Movie Dracula. A far cry from anything interesting. But it has one interesting thing going for it: the bad guy is just some dude that got stuck in a film reel. He isn’t a vampire, making the lame-ass gift of Holy Water Angel gave to Buffy worthless. Aside from this, its a by-the-numbers ordeal with confusing payoff.

See, the secondary bad guy is some guy named Marty that wants to make a movie but is a little punk ass kid with no talent, so this bad vampire actor gets him invested in “being famous” to steal some souls. But at the end, Marty didn’t get enough souls, so fake-vamp kills Marty first. Dead. Gone. Did I mention this takes place within the world of the movie, as the cast is sucked into the black-and-white picture through…. wait for it… magic? Well, it does happen. And then, when they all leave and burn the old tin can reel, they are like “bye Marty, hope Satan likes you” (this isn’t really that far off, quote wise. Seriously). Its all… alarming. Not only did some kid that got innocently swept up in his dream die in front of them, they just burn the entire universe his body rests in and then are like “lol whatever, back to school”.

Buffy Take 2

This wouldn’t be so bad if the rest of the comic was ok. But its only passable. A better art team is present, yes, but it still kinda sucks, overall. And that fucking letterer is still here. So, fuck that guy.I guess.

At least it has this picture, which made me laugh out loud. I guess.

Final Score: 8 PANGs out of, well, 200.