Buffy: 1-800-Collect Ad(s)
Directed by: Who knows
Written by: This is a better question
Air Month: Dec 1998

For reference, the ads can be found “here”. I’ll wait.

Good? Ok. Let’s get this going.

First off, hi! Long time no see! I haven’t been around these parts since August of 2013 when I did my review of that lovely “Game Boy Color game”. Not going to get long-winded about my return, here. Just want to say I got nostalgic and read through a bunch of my old review and commentary and, well, was confused as to why I missed these ads. So, here we go. Going to shoehorn this in fast and feel like I haven’t missed anything.

So there are two of these XMas themed ads for a service that people born after the year 2004 will have no idea about. For those of you just joining us, 1-800-Collect is a now defunct service for making cheap, long distance calls. We’re talking before cell phones or Skype. Like, back when your parents were kids. Sorry for the history lesson, just a thing.

ANYhow: in an attempt to con younger kids into using the pay service without their parents’ permission, The WB and someone at the “BtVS” staff thought: let’s trick ’em with SMG and David Boreanaz. This was shot back in Season 3, right after “Lover’s Walk”, and, well… it doesn’t really make sense fitting there. It’s snowing in Sunnydale and there are even icecicles, something Buffy attempts to stake Angel with, like that would ever have worked.

Angel makes some light “romantic conversation” in one, Buffy says “you should have called” (GET IT?!?!?). In the other, Angel tells her that the ice isn’t mistletoe and Buffy just smiles. Har har. Such guffaw.

The whole thing is a con job because, as the narration explains, each time someone uses the service, it enters them into a “Win a Role” contest (which, the internet tells me, went to a Jessica Johnson of Maryland, to be in “The Prom”, though I’m not sure who she played or if she had any real screen time). Eh. Its dumb and tacky.

And the way SMG looks “scared” when she says you don’t have to be alone for Christmas is so corny I can’t even.

There, one of the missing bits from Season 3 covered. Finally. I can let go of this site, now. For good. Do not expect to see an update on this site from right where we left off. Don’t do it.

Review of a Commercial Because I have to In Order to Maintain Consistency on this Site: Uh, it absolutely didn’t get me to use 1-800-Collect, though maybe that’s because we’re in the present and not 1776. Ben Franklin can use this service. I’ll just skip it.