“Checkpoint” – Season 5, Ep. 12

Checkpoint
Written by: Douglas Petrie and Jane Espenson
Directed by: Nick Marck
Air Date: January 23, 2001

This is one of my all-time favorite episodes. We get a lot of really great stuff, here: Great character work; awesome back-and-forth between Buffy and some antagonistic old British guys that aren’t Giles; layers of comedy; a legitimately threatening Glory (finally); and maybe the best monologue on the entire show. And it all begins with the surprising arrival of Quentin Travers (last seen in “Helpless”) and a delegation from the Watcher’s Council. See, Giles went back to England to get their help and while they feel like they could help, they aren’t about to just give their valuable info away freely. They want to put Buffy and co. through some tests and interviews in order to ensure that what they have to give isn’t given away and placed into foolish hands. While at first Buffy refuses to play ball, a fast threat to get Giles deported cements them as the power players in this scenario.

What follows is a series of comedic interviews that all take place lightning fast and against the wishes of the rest of the gang. One gentleman grills Willow and Tara about their relationship (to Buffy, not each other though they confuse this and confess their love for one another readily) and come to learn that there is a world of registered magic uses with power levels (like they’re in DBZ or something). Tara throws out a fake level number and the Watcher is less than impressed. Anya lies about who she is and divulges so much info about her herself that is extremely fake but Emma plays it all so defensively and in a cute way. And even Spike gets interviewed by a female Watcher that “wrote her thesis” on him, which immediately gives him cause for pause. And probably arousal.

But the real meat happens to Buffy, herself. In one moment she is participating in a combat exercise, defending a dummy while blindfolded. Quentin issues commands to her in a foreign tongue and she must follow his orders and use her intuition to stop another Watcher from dealing a killing blow. Giles does his best to translate the commands but Buffy gets real bored of this business real quickly and simply opts to take the dude out, but not before an axe gets thrown at the dummy, landing the killing blow she was supposed to stop (and knocking back another Watcher in the process!). Quentin has seen enough and Buffy knows she done goofed. But this entire sequence will basically serve as a microcosm of her issues with authority and the Watchers Council specifically, but we’ll get to that.

The other Buffy sequence of note is Glory’s biggest moment so far. Buffy returns home to find “The Beast” has entered the Summers’ home, ready to have some girl talk. Buffy attempts to raise an offensive, but Glory shuts her down immediately, suggesting that – if she wanted to fight – Buffy would be a corpse already if she tried. She knows Buffy knows where the “Key” is and gives her a peaceful opportunity to come clean and deliver it to her. If she doesn’t, she’s going to have to get nasty, and she won’t start with the Slayer, but her friends and family. She even does that trope-y-but-cool thing of knowing someone is in the room and calling Dawn over to her, and while not everyone knows about her status as the object Glory is looking for, its fun an tense to see Glory basically have what she desires most, only to just let it go. For now.

While normally this encounter would freak Buffy out, between this and a random attack from some men dressed up like knights (chainmail and all) who want her dead for protecting the “Key” at all, Buffy has had enough. Just like with the combat exercise before, she is done waiting for what she wants and done playing by anyone elses’ rules. And she tells Quentin as much during what is supposed to be her interview session. In what is easily my favorite full on tear down of a character on this show, Buffy lays it all out clean and plain. She can’t beat Glory but if the Watchers have something she can use, they are going to give it to her (and get Giles his job back with back-pay, no less!). If they don’t want to give it to her, fine, whatever, get out of town. But she has Quentin and the rest pegged. She has power, they don’t. It frustrates them and they feel they need to control it. But instead of letting her back in to their world, she is willing to allow them back in to her’s.

Its a great bit of acting and a great showcase of how far Buffy has come. Quitting the Council to Wesley back in season 3 was one thing, but actually telling the head of this guild that they suck and she knows they suck and they will always suck is such a powerful moment for Buffy as a character and as a show. So much growth has happened over the last four-and-a-half years and Buffy is becoming a woman as well as the Slayer. And Quentin relents, almost impressed but more with a sense of defeat in his voice (I mean, he even asks for some of Giles’ secreted-away booze because he needs a drink). But before he can calm his shot nerves, Buffy demands to know one thing: What kind of demon is Glory. And Quentin, with all the grace and civility of a pompous, old British man, lays it out simply: she isn’t a demon at all, but a god.

“Oh,” says Buffy, dumbfounded.

Final Rating: 95

Additional Notes:
-Buffy suggests in her history class that Rasputin may have been a vampire, or at least otherworldly. The prof, a dick if ever I’ve seen one, basically tells her to shut the fuck up and sit down. What a prick.
-Glory actually comes off as kinda frightening in her big scene with Buffy. Clare Kramer is getting better with each episode
-After the Glory attack, Buffy has her mom and Dawn stay with Spike at his crypt, where he and Joyce talk about Passions and poor Timmy
-Joyce has the best line, here, but only because its rare for her to have such a good one: “I love what you’ve, uh, neglected to do with the place!”
-Anya’s rant about her name, place of birth, and 4th of July birthday are hilarious and damn it if Emma hasn’t made this character her own, now
-There is some other good bits, like Spike helping Buffy in the cemetery, the Watchers judging Xander’s abilities, and Buffy throwing that sword. Overall just a great episode

“Triangle” – Season 5, Ep. 11

Triangle
Written by: Jane Espenson
Directed by: Chris Hibler
Air Date: January 9, 2001

Or: The one with the Troll. Or: The one where Xander has to pick between his best friend and his girlfriend. Or: the one in which Buffy overracts and SMG overacts to the thought of Xander and Anya breaking up. Or:… you get it, now, I’m sure, so nevermind. Let’s move on.

“Triangle” (which admittedly took me until this viewing to understand why they named it this. I’m dumb, sometimes) starts off in a strange way. There is a bait-and-switch moment where you the joke is made that Buffy might have become a nun now that she is freshly single due to the sudden and underdeveloped end of her recent relationship with Riley. They even go far enough to show a trickle of blonde hair beneath a nun’s wimple (I learned that word from this show!) without showing her face to tease you. You think “Maybe she’s undercover?” but nope, just some random nun she saves from a vampire. But the they toss out the goodwill built up by having it be an obvious, subverted expectation by having her actually grill the nun on life without boys and how hard it is being a nun. This lame series of events and gags is indicative of most of this episode, one which is really just filler to cleanse the palette after the sorrow of Riley’s departure.

The bulk of this episode centers around two thing: Giles is leaving for England to talk to the Watchers Council about getting help with their big Glory problem. This leaves the shop unattended, the gang without a reliable parental figure, and a rift to form between some of the core cast. And that rift is the second thing: Giles leaves the store to Anya and Willow can’t believe it. The two come to verbal spats that range from comical to cutting in the span of a few seconds. Some of it is warranted – Anya doesn’t trust Willow because she takes advantage of her access to the Magic Box and Giles’ in-store stash of magical goods, stuff she refuses to pay for. Willow doesn’t trust Anya because of her former profession as a vengeance demon and she worries she’ll hurt Xander, her best friend. Neither of them can come out and say these things right away, of course, and that leads to real-time accounting, raised tempers, and a botched spell resulting in the episode’s giant troll, Olaf. Who used to date Anya before she transformed him into the monster we see before us.

There are a handful of things I really like about this episode, so I’ll start there. First off, I like that Olaf is a stereotypical and oafish troll with immense strength and a giant hammer. It gets a bit overdone with the “let me eat a baby” bit, though Spike does get to question Xander on where the nearest baby might be (“What do you think, the hospital?”), but he is otherwise funny, looks great, and is a legit threat to the gang, including Buffy. I like that an emotionally run-through Buffy gets PTSD to comical effect when Tara tells her she bailed when Anya, Willow and Xander got into it over Xander’s relationship, especially since I really enjoy seeing Tara continue to expand into her role within the group as a kind of “den mother” position. But, again, the script and directing has SMG play this up to ludicrous levels, where she cries at the thought of them breaking up and jumps to the conclusion that it has happened already and that they were the prefect couple and their relationship needs protected at all costs. This is especially egregious as just last episode she came within inches of berating Xander for his relationship before he stopped her in her tracks.

I also love that Giles is returning to England to reconnect with the Watcher’s Council, but that doesn’t happen in this episode, really, just him leaving. This is the springboard for a really, really great episode coming up soon, but I do love that one minute with their father figure out of the picture, the gang devolves into almost caricaturized versions of themselves, no longer able to function like actual adults. But, then again, all of this is overdone. Willow wouldn’t blatantly steal from him like this, even if she didn’t respect Anya. Xander, who has been getting so confidant that he corners the strongest person he knows, wouldn’t just walk away from this problem. Buffy wouldn’t act this childish. Anya wouldn’t… well, no, she’s still in character. But almost everyone turns into a more petulant version of themselves and it doesn’t come across as authentic.

And that’s the issue with this episode – every positive has an immediately noticeable flipside negative, for the most part. There are even smaller examples of it: Spike practicing asking Buffy out with his mannequin is comical, but that he hears her belittle him in his head so much that he dismantles her violently, only to put the head back on and start again is too much. I like that Buffy’s mom gets to come home and that she has a lasting mark in the form of her shaved head… but its a tiny bit that is shaved and then she just wears a scarf. I like that Dawn finally starts to overhear more about “The Key” and stuff, but its just another TV trope in which a character only hears enough of a conversation to make the situation bad and not anything more (something that will continue to be a problem for this show and character in particular). Its just 100 near slam-dunks followed by 100 off-the-rims, none of which elevate or completely derail the episode, but it is enough to cause it to feel like a mixed bag.

The worst part about this is that, back when I’d watched this episode previously, I really thought this was one of the great examples of Season 5 storytelling, but it really isn’t. Again, its not a terrible episode and far from the worst the season or series as a whole has to offer. It just feels like a bunch of water treading in order to keep pushing the main two narratives for the rest of the season: make Buffy suffer either comically or emotionally and drive home how important love is for everyone (but, again, especially Buffy), something that will become a very identifiable central pillar in just a handful of episodes. But, the comedy is good, the troll fight in the Magic Box is effective and I like seeing power and strength exhibited in much more brutal ways on this show, like Buffy getting tossed across the room or the troll easily breaking Xander’s wrist/arm. And the setup that is put into place in this episode is really good stuff. I just wish the rest of it was designed to match.

Overall Rating: 72

Additional Thoughts:
-Willow and Tara’s spell idea – a small simulated sun – is a good idea
-Tara being on Willow’s side about the stealing, especially with where their arcs are headed and her entire rough go in Season 6, seems extremely out of character
-I understand this was early 2000’s television, but that hammer looks like it weighs the amount the prop actually weighs and does not give off the illusion that it is a heavy weapon
-I couldn’t find a place for it, but one good thing that has no flipside is Dawn’s support of her sister in the aftermath of her breakup. I feel there was genuine affection between the two characters during the scene in Buffy’s bedroom and I love any time these two feel like actual sisters like this
-Anya’s first time driving a car is hilarious
-Anya bringing up her fears that Willow could get between her and Xander is cute, particularly the Cordelia reference
-Best line? Willow’s impersonation of Anya: “People can so rarely be exchanged for goods and/or services!”
-Next handful of episodes make up for the weaker string we just got through

“Into the Woods” – Season 5, Ep. 10

Into the Woods
Written and Directed by: Marti Noxon
Air Date: December 19, 2000

I’ll tell you this much for free, this episode has not aged well. I used to like Riley and his arc on the show well enough, but on this rewatch and having aged a bunch, myself, I see the shallow writing and bad character work on display for what it is, here, and that’s two main things: Get Riley off the show and start emotionally brutalizing Buffy. And, for what its worth, this episode does both of those things very well and very quickly. A bit too quickly, if you ask me, but we’ll get there as we move through my thoughts on the episode as a whole. The episode also features a vampire “crack den” and its as on-the-nose and thus poorly handled as that sounds.

Speaking of that crack den, Riley has been sneaking out, even after having sex with Buffy, to this place so he can get drained by vampires in an effort to make himself feel like someone that is needed, someone whose existence is valued. He isn’t getting that from Buffy anymore, not with Dawn, Glory, and the looming dread that is Joyce’s whole medical dilemma. He can’t deal with not being a super soldier and he really can’t deal with Spike having his number in regards to all of it. But, while this has been built up over the past few episodes of the season in not-so-subtle ways, it just comes across as too fast. If this was allowed more time to breathe, Spike finding out about it would have resulted in taunting, blackmail and more before turning him in to Buffy for the “reward” of her affection. But here, he spots Riley leave Buffy’s house in the middle of the night, follows him, finds out what is going on, wakes Buffy up (in a comical moment that is also creepy as hell and also doesn’t age well, really), takes her to him, and expect that reward all in the span of about 6 minutes of screen time. It is technically effective, but it all happens so fast so as to move on with everything else the episode needs to do that it gives a kind of whiplash to the viewer, at least it did to me this time through.

Again, none of this is to say that it isn’t believable, just that it doesn’t feel earned but more forced. Just like the den where Riley is get drained (so much restraint to not say “sucked off” every time, you don’t even know) – we are just thrust in to that as a concept and while the obvious parallels work and we completely understand the symbolism involved rather quickly, the fact remains that its narrative construction for the sake of rushing a story along. Xander knowing what is going on (don’t get me started on his speech to Buffy at the end of the episode – because I’ll start that myself shortly) between Buffy and Riley does lean into his “Xander can see things no one else can” type of business, but it also feels like its forced on us and thus Buffy. Yes, yes. He got informed of Riley’s fears and doubts a few episodes back, but this once again seems like four or five episodes of development crushed into 10 minutes in order to facilitate the change they need.

And then, yeah, there’s Xander’s big speech to Buffy. She and Riley come to verbal blows over everything and he drops a bombshell on her in the middle of it; the military wants him to fight demons in the jungle on another continent and unless she can open herself up more and deal with his betrayal, he’s gone. Its an ultimatum that robs their relationship – and honestly its conclusion – of any further progress or catharsis. It just either ends now with wounds open, or she has to take him as he is, despite her begging him to take her as she is moments earlier and him more or less saying “no, you”. That whole thing is gross on its own and it reveals that Riley is suddenly Mr. Shit-Heel and not Mr. Doof. No thank you.

Alarmed that his title might get taken, Xander corners Buffy (after she lets him go and then dusts all the vampires that worked at that den she previously torched in an act of petty revenge (petty insofar as she wouldn’t have hunted them specifically had they not been in the wrong place at the wrong time, she is a Slayer though so she’d get to it eventually) and basically calls her a moron and that her heart must be broken because Riley is the best and what is her problem, anyhow. He flinches for half a second when she finally reveals his secret nighttime activities, but it doesn’t stop his guilt train. Riley has been shown to us to be a self-centered, unaware kid these past few episodes and while, yes, he wants to be there for and take care of Buffy, he exhibits no patience or self-awareness when questioned. And Xander understands this less, somehow, than he does. The crazy part? His gross rant about Buffy letting the best thing in the world slip away actually works and convinces her to chase after him into the night, just missing him as his helicopter takes off and Riley leaves the show forever (more or less…!).

I might come across as hard on this episode and I am leaving a ton of great stuff out, too: Joyce’s surgery is a success, Xander confesses his deep, deep love for Anya in a truly touching way that is acted well and written expertly to character, the conversation between Riley and Spike in his crypt which is so good it doesn’t deserve to be in this episode, left to wallow… and even the fact (which isn’t lost on me at all) that Riley views Buffy’s love for Angel and the threat of her falling for Spike as a weakness of his, that he doesn’t have – as Spike puts it – any monster in him and this worries him. I get all of this, but the plot is too forced, too rushed, and too full of anti-climax with the swelling music and the “just missed him” ending. Melodramatic to the point of distaste. Its a shame, too, because there is a lot of good stuff here for a well developed arc that still ends with Riley leaving and Buffy having to deal with it. It just needed more time to bake in the oven and they weren’t about to let it have that. Alas.

Final Rating: 60

Additional Thoughts:
-Best line, as always, is a back-and-forth between members of the gang, but it boils down to Willow asking if Anya bathes Xander, Xander saying “in a sexy way” and Giles’ utterance of: “Please stop. I beg of you.”
-Actually Anya is on fire all episode. Telling people to have a nice day and not “get killed”, describing Giles’ inability to both do his business taxes and hold his bladder at the same time, and her fear that Dawn’s story about Buffy play-staking her as a kid might have actually happened… Emma likely had the time of her life with this character
-Giles’ stupid banner describing upcoming holidays includes some demonic or otherwise mystical events and its a nice touch
-Buffy getting blocked by a grate wall while trying to flee Xander’s oncoming verbal abuse is also a bit on-the-nose; he literally has her caged in
-I do like Buffy realizing the last vamp standing is the one that was drinking Riley’s blood, pretends to let her go, then fucking javelins her ass from across quite a distance. Brutal
-Also she takes apart those vampires with very little effort and its honestly nice to see her just destroy some of these guys for once rather than get tossed around to allow more quips and gags
-Sorry for this one, Riley’s exit just let a very sour taste in my mouth this time and I don’t care for it in the least, and paired with Xander’s speech (and, frankly, Spike’s obviously disgusting behavior) its just a foul episode, really, where none of the show’s guys – save Giles – are shown in a very good light

“Out of the Woodwork”

Buffy the Vampire Slayer – “Out of the Woodwork”
Dark Horse Comics – April 24, 2002
Writers: Tom Fassbener, Jim Pascoe
Artists: Cliff Richards, Joe Pimentel, Dave McCraig
Editor: Scott Allie

As is always the case, I have a commitment to reading these comics in as close a proximity to the episodes, narratively speaking, as I can, which means since Riley is out of the picture in the next episode of the show, I have to read any and all comics that feature him until I’m out, and only then can I go back to reviewing the show. What a sham my life is, but thankfully there aren’t many more comics to go before he’s out of them, too.

“Out of the Woodwork” is boring and overly convoluted. It starts as a vampire story, turns into a ghost story, and ends as a mysterious giant bug infestation for some reason. The first two parts, the vampires and the ghost, are connected but the bug stuff seems arbitrarily stacked together and seems like two very different stories. The ghost stuff, which knocks Riley out of commissions for almost the entire comic, is over in the first like 1/6th of the story… the rest is just Buffy being a bitch to Giles about his new girlfriend, and then Willow trying to reassure Tara that the group likes her. There is a parallel that is interesting to explore between Rebecca (Giles’ love interest) and Tara, that the group tends to dislike new members that are forced upon them, but its barely covered and lazily resolved by the end.

Really, though, the main issue I have with this story is that – as I said – it is very, very boring. Much of it is predictable, and when it isn’t, its just obvious. The Bug Professor being involved turns to getting involved against his will, but its still not a surprise. Spike’s narrative isn’t shocking or interesting. And while most of the writing is fairly show-accurate and the art continues to do its best to differentiate between the characters for you, it all just comes across as bland and like someone copied notes from the people that make the show. None of it is terrible, but that doesn’t mean much in the end. And, again, its a very long and winding plot that circles back on itself a few times. The only thing it has going for it is the twist ending regarding Rebecca that, again, was obvious after the fact but they really pulled a slow one on me with the reveal. So its got that going for it.

Its times like this where I wonder, really hard, if I should recommend a comic like this because it is a Buffy story that isn’t outright terrible like so many of the other, earlier escapades by these creators. But, then again, no. Because you could just watch the show and live life in ignorance of these things even existing in the first place. So yeah, skip this and don’t remember you even read this review because I don’t even really have anything funny to say about it, making it a boring review of a boring comic.

Am I Close to Being Done with ALL these Buffy Comics?: Yeah, one more Omnibus to go, really.

“Past Lives”

Buffy the Vampire Slayer – “Past Lives”
Dark Horse Comics – November 21, 2001
Writers: Christopher Golden, Thomas E. Sniegoski
Artists: Christian Zanier, Cliff Richards, Joe Pimentel, Lee Loughridge, Clem Robins
Editor: Scott Allie

This comic could probably go in either subsection of comics, but since it is in my Buffy Omnibus, that’s where I’m going to slot it. And you know what? I think it deserves to be there, more, anyhow. Despite having a tighter connection to Angel as a character (honestly the only connective tissue to BtVS is that Giles used to date the bad guy for the story, something clearly shoehorned in to tie them together), the fact is that this is both almost good enough to be a necessary positive influence on the total score for Omnibus comics, and it falters in a classic way that all Buffy comics do.

The story here is that a mysterious woman has it in for Angel because of some nasty business from his past that tainted her family line forever. She joins the Watcher’s Council, studies and trains, and then gets access to all their most powerful artifacts and magical abilities in order to be their top-level operative. But her secret agenda has her betray everyone around her so she can wear down Angel, his friends, and even her old lover in order to avenge her family. Its a nice story and would fit in a season of either show, even with some crossover potential. Hell, even the characters sound right. Willow in particular, who is hard to nail down because of her manic nature of talking, comes across like someone from the show wrote her instead of the usual comic book crap that they shove down my throat each issue.

The art is fine, most of the characters are easily identifiable and showcase some actual telltale signs of who they are (maybe Anya and Tara could use a little work, and Riley looks mostly like a cardboard cutout of what “Man” would be if drawn up by a committee, but that’s also how he comes across on the show so I can’t fault them too much), and the action is actually pretty OK for the most part. Many of the fodder demons are a bit “too otherwordly” to fit the style of the show, but not so much so that they detract from the story at hand.

No, that issue is for Alexa Landry, who I can’t find a great picture of online, but is drawn like someone saw The Matrix and decided that the leather outfits in there weren’t sexy enough and needed more cutout cross shapes on all the characters’ boobs:

There is no reason for this character, who is moderately compelling and has a good, solid arc (if not wrapped up too nicely and who knows, these comic writers love to throw their creations back into the ring from time to time so she might pop up again) to dress like a dominatrix and be all dolled up for her mission. High heels, long painted nails, clearly copious amounts of eye makeup, and then yeah, enough skin showing in suggestive places with a form fitting leather outfit? It just seems like someone had a character design they liked, Dark Horse said “we’ll pass on that”, and so they shoved her into a Buffy comic so they could use her. And listen, I’m not saying that I hate sex-appeal in comics, but one too many pronounced outlines of a nipple and I’m thrown out of my immersion. No one even comments on the outfit, which tells me the script writers got one look at this design and said “yeah now we’ll ignore that”.

So its a mixed bag because most of this comic works, but then the primary antagonist is drawn like the artist listened to a bunch of horny teenage boys about what made a chick “cool” and then upped the fuckability by 69%. Always one step forward, two steps back with these Buffy comics, I tell ya what.

Should You Read This: I mean, you should at least look at the pictures, some of them are really hottttttttttttt

“Listening to Fear” – Season 5, Ep. 9

Listening to Fear
Written by: Rebecca Rand Kirshner
Directed by: David Solomon
Air Date: November 28, 2000

“Listening to Fear” is an odd episode. On the one hand, I like some of the things it attempts to do with demon lore-building, the family dynamic between the Summers girls, and the continual creep of Riley’s inevitable exit from the show. In an episode that is very simple (Joyce is going to have surgery for her tumor, but wants to go home to rest before hand, a demon stalks here – and anyone else suffering brain issues, and Riley contact the military to help), there is actually a dense amount of stuff going on. So let’s start with the good stuff, first, huh? Namely, the monster of the week.

The Queller Demon is a snot monster from space that rides into Sunnydale aboard a meteor. One thing I enjoy as this show – and Angel – get deeper into the characters and the world is that the lore surrounding everything gets deeper as well. Giles’ suggestion that demons can enter our reality through various means, so one could come from space is a cool idea that isn’t really touched on again, but it leads to one of the creepies monster designs on the show, so much so that I forgot both how unnerving it is as a creature and how big it is. The way it hangs from ceilings (especially Joyce’s while she rambles nonstop in the dark) is enough to send chills down my spine on this viewing. Also, the way it can grapple and wrestle with anyone and has a hard carapace to defend itself leads to tense fights and a comical reaction from Spike (who was hanging in Buffy’s basement… “stealing” pictures of her). Its a cool monster and I’d forgotten how effective it is.

The rest of the episode has good nuggets, yes, but is otherwise fairly bland if not a bit forced. The family dynamic between Buffy, her mom, and Dawn comes to a head as Joyce’s mental status brings her to the realization that Dawn isn’t her actual daughter, something she pries from Buffy easily (I think Buffy likely is dying to tell anyone else this secret as its getting harder and harder to protect it). I like this, and I like Joyce’s declaration that Dawn is still her daughter despite this revelation and that Buffy must protect her if something should happen to her during or after surgery. Its a bit of telegraphing which, if you don’t know what’s coming, is probably just stuff to add to the tension surrounding this plot, but when you know how the season plays out it can kinda be a bit on the nose. I also don’t know how believable the writing and delivery of this scene is, though everyone is acting well – if just reeks of “gotta get Buffy’s mom to understand” and that it could have played out a bit more over the coming episodes. Ah, well.

The Riley (and the rest of the gang) stuff is also good, but flawed. I like that Riley is still doing things his own way. Depowered and sidelined by Buffy during almost all of the events of the season thus far, he reaches out for the things he needs to make himself feel powerful, something we’ll see come to a head shortly. Working with the military on the crashed demon meteor in secret (going so far as to hide their involvement and being short with Willow when any question gets brought up) is sly in a bad way and on this watch through I’ve noticed how rapid this change in Riley’s character actually is. I understand what is happening, here, both with regards to the character arc and the season/show arc in general, but like Buffy’s mom’s acceptance of what Dawn is, it just feels very much like they are pushing him into position so they can get his stuff over with and move on to the bigger ideas they have for everything else that happens this season. Its not bad, but its really evident in the next episode.

Meanwhile, while Riley’s stuff is happening, Xander, Willow and the rest try to help Buffy by not bothering her with the demon that’s prowling (even though it gets to her house before she can even do anything about it) and its some cute stuff, with the characters wishing they could call her or talk to her. Its a good representation of second-party grief that they all want to include her but feel guilt about it, but they don’t really do much aside from discover what it is that they are hunting. If they were absent from the episode, between Buffy, Riley and Spike this still would have had the same result. And that’s the primary issue with this one, the need to include everyone despite the lack of actual necessity. Its not a crime, really, but it is easy to feel.

Having said all of this, the episode is just a mid-tier affair with equal highs and lows. For every wasted minute spent on someone else not central to the plot, there is that sequence of Buffy doing dishes and crying to the sounds of the worst five-second loop of Hispanic music. For every bit of Riley flexing his know-how and military prowess to remind himself and the viewers of how potent he still is, there is an equal number of questionable and iffy representations of the mentally ill and how they are treated. And for every grand revelation about Ben and his ties to Glory (he summoned the demon to help clean up her mess of blubbering, drooling leftovers after she feeds on their sanity), there is some over the top acting from Dawn that reminds us that she is, yes, a little kid still but also not always the most pleasant to deal with as a viewer; you can’t choose your family, but you can choose your viewing options.

Episode Rating: 74

Additional Notes:
–Having worked in a hospital, it is absolutely not that easy to just leave against medical recommendation. Hell, it isn’t even that easy to leave when you are discharged appropriately!
-Favorite line? After Xander whines about going to the library to find info on a “killer snot monster”, Giles – in frustration – utters: “because it’s a killer snot monster from OUTER SPACE” before wincing and realizing he’d just said that out loud
-I don’t like the look of Glory’s minion demons, but in future episodes we get better, fully lit looks at them and they both look better and dumber at the same time
-Willow’s care package is cute but dumb
-Anya’s lines about the “space lamb” might actually be the best lines. Her delivery is getting better and better as the season progresses
-While Willow’s care package was cute but dumb, the conversation between Tara and Willow while stargazing is actually cute and well played out, a legitimately touching moment between two characters falling in love
-so many moving parts in this season, really, all aimed toward a great finale. A few stinkers up ahead but then mostly smooth sailing from there with rising stakes and great payoffs

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Dead Love

Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Dead Love
Dark Horse Comics – March 1999
Writer: Andi Watson
Artists: David Perrin, Sandu Florea, Guy Major, Clem Robins
Editor: Scott Allie

I somehow missed this one single short story from that collection of short stories a while ago called… uh… well… Short Stories. So, in the interest of covering it all, this tiny, five-to-six page comic gets its own entry on the site. Does it earn it?

I mean, no. No. Not even a little bit.

A Season 3 Buffy fails to find Angel (off-panel) and then just starts reading Giles’ notebooks without permission and learns that he had an encounter with some zombies and a dude moving his dead wife’s soul from one corpse to another in an attempt to keep her alive. There is a literal Grand Canyon’s-worth of “Telling” instead of of “Showing” as Giles helps a bookseller relieve himself of his worries (all of which occured off-panel). How do they find the guy? Off-panel. How do they find actual resolution to the dilemma? Off-panel. Why does Angel, who literally hops onto the page from off-panel, figure out Buffy is at the library and not at the Bronze where they said they’d meet? Happens off-panel.

I don’t like these comics and I’m mad that I missed this one back when I was supposed to have read it. That’s like a cruel joke from Young Skyler, played more out of spite than jest. Fuck that guy. I hate that guy. I hope he dies.

See, The Joke Is: That he grows up to be me, so I hope he doesn’t really die. That’d sure make my face red!

“Shadow” – Season 5, Ep. 8

Shadow
Written by: David Fury
Directed by: Dan Attias
Air Date: November 21, 2000

I’m actually going to have a surprising amount to say about this one, but I’ll try to keep it succinct. See, I don’t remember this episode. Like, at all. And there is a good amount of stuff in here (not all of it great, but almost all of it stands out) so its shocking that an episode that reveals Joyce’s malady, a giant snake-man demon, finally announces Glory’s name and the identity of her minions, and has a pair of small but impactful Riley moments didn’t stick around much in my brain. But let’s get underway, here.

The bulk of the episode tackles something many of us have gone through, from Buffy’s perspective. That is to say, the feeling of powerlessness and the shame of not being able to just “fix” a loved one’s major health crisis. Her mom goes into a CAT scan and then has a freaking brain biopsy done and while she’s out after the procedure, Buffy’s world falls apart and goes back to basics. She only uses Riley as a thing to cry onto, she can’t deal with Dawn much at all, and she needs to hunt and beat something up. But beyond that, she also continues the season-long fixation she has on mystical and magical intervention regarding Joyce’s condition. Whereas previously she couldn’t believe her illness wasn’t a hex of some kind, now she seeks a cure in the form of a potion or a spell. Everyone in the Scooby gang is quick to point out that the dangers are too great, but I’m shocking Willow isn’t willing to secretly try anyhow, but I think a Willow from one year down the road might have done just that.

Buffy is growing up, but just when she is getting a chance to strike out on her own, she’s dragged back into being a kid, mostly kicking, usually screaming, but always crying. She doesn’t want to play “mom” and needs her actual mother to be around to do it for her, as long as possible. This is a subject that she doesn’t so much clearly vocalize as much as she demands to let Riley, the gang, the doctor treating her mom, and a giant snake demon understand, with the latter being the “Monster-of-the-Week” that Glory brought into town. Anya correctly guesses she is going to transmogrify something (in a comical bit where Giles sells Glory everything she needs to do so, while in the middle of a gameplan speech on how they intend to find her. Its cute and effective and gives Glory a chance to play off some other people that aren’t monsters or sweating, chained up food for her to consume) and Buffy tracks her down to the zoo to stop her.

What follows is another brutal beating in which Buffy can not get a solid hit in, and she really only escaped because Glory doesn’t value fighting or killing Buffy and she has other things to do. The snake demon is a Key-sniffing monster and will find where it is and report back to Glory. Buffy and Giles figure this out after the monster busts into the Magic Box (insurance premiums on that place are gonna go up and up forever, huh?), gets one look at a screaming Dawn, and takes off without another moment of pause. Buffy and Giles hunt it down and Buffy tackles it, strangles it, and punches it to death just outside Glory’s mansion… hotel…? Abandoned apartment building? I’m not really sure. Venting all her frustration at her situation with every punch until her knuckles are soaked in green snake blood and the rubber monster is down and no longer a threat (the costume is cheap looking outside of a few close ups, but man alive is the CG – which is admittedly also bad – is really cool and surprisingly good for a show with a budget of maybe $20.00 for effects per week to pull off).

And true to life, while Buffy is dealing with the sad news of her mother and having to also shoulder all the responsibility of looking after Dawn (both as protector as well as sister), she doesn’t see that other people are in pain, too. The Scoobies offer support where they can, and Spike uses the opportunity to just sneak around and smell her clothes. But poor, poor doofmeister general, Riley. He wants to just get the opportunity to stand up and be “The Man” and be there for Buffy. But he can’t know certain things about her and unfortunately had already seen the writing on the wall for their relationship before any of this happened, so now its just another nail in the coffin. Which is not a pun about how he gets frisky with that vampire, Sandy, that he was flirting with a few episodes back. Though he does absolutely go to a dank hold someplace and let her bite him before staking her, just to… feel something? I guess? Its a dark road for him, but is it for him to feel value or is it secretly get even with a Buffy that isn’t giving him the amount of love and attention he so desperately wants? Time will tell.

Overall, while I don’t remember this episode well (and really, I don’t stand here confused as to why), it was a fun treat to watch as a result, but only for the novelty of it all. The story (aside from the ongoing Joyce drama) is lame, the monster is laughably bad at best, the non-Glory fight is pretty brutal but also comical in that you have to wonder what SMG thought it was going to look like on screen, riding the snake costumed-dude with a chain around its neck, and I unfortunately continue to like Glory less and less with each passing episode. I hope that last bit turns around, soon. So while this isn’t a very good episode, it does push some of the main plot forward just enough to keep it from being total filler, but I just wish it could have handled that stuff alongside a more compelling narrative as a whole.

Episode Rating: 67

Additional Notes:
-Sandy is the vampire that Evil Willow bit and made in The Bronze back in “Doppelgängland” – what an odd throwback
-Riley’s treatment of Spike is bad news because it just shows how much he believes Buffy might actually prefer someone like Spike to him, and that Spike knows this and taunts him about it is almost too much
-though honestly, why not stake Spike right then and there? No one would have known he was ever in the house at that time and would think he had just run off. I would have done it, had I been Riley
-Joyce is the best TV mom and her reaction to silently hearing the news of her condition is beautifully tragic and well acted
-Xander calls Riley out on being a doof and a danger-seeking jerk but does so while also making sure Riley is ok. Real dude-bro moment between those two, though Xander’s willingness to stick up for Riley will only make him look more like an ignorant dick soon enough
-Glory’s full name is Glorificus and Giles remembers that the Dagon sphere wards off things that can’t be named, thus suggesting she is older than language. Big sign of what she actually is, there
-Glory’s minions are dumb and never get less dumb. Why have I always liked her as a Big Bad all these years?
-Spike grabs a pair of Buffy’s panties (I think) on his way out. Gross, dude.

“Fool for Love” – Season 5, Ep. 7

Fool For Love
Written by: Douglas Petrie
Directed by: Nick Marck
Air Date: November 14, 2000

Or: The episode in which Spike becomes Spike. Really, this episode does on thing right, immediately out of the gate: Buffy gets stabbed with her own stake during a routine banter-and-slay and immediately freaks out about her own mortality. And finally Giles’ promise to help her understand her own origin and power and place in the world comes to a head as he attempts to help her figure out how any of the other, previous Slayers died. The catch? There is really no good record-keeping of said deaths in any tome or Watcher’s journal. How do you learn about how someone died if the person involved couldn’t talk about it because, well, you know… they died? Turns out, they know someone who killed two Slayers. Namely, William the Bloody himself.

What a great time Marsters probably had finally getting to both stretch his legs as an actor a bit as well as finally play someone imposing and dangerous again for a bit. See, whatever the reason (and I’ve heard/read a lot) Spike got relegated to backtalking comic relief last season and has been falling into open graves ever since. But here, in a series of flashbacks and cool fight scenes, we get to see Spike like we haven’t seen him since Season 2, really. And the best part of all? Its still all about the women in his life and how his love for them throughout history has lead him to this singular spot where he rests, now. Cecily, the woman he wrote “bloody” bad poetry for… Dru, who made him a vampire, even the two Slayers he killed both immediately drew him in, and after tasting the Chinese Slayer during the Boxer Rebellion, he gets even more infatuated with the thrill of the kill. This leads him to a Slayer we’ll learn more about later in New York a few decades back, and then to Sunnydale, and to the current infatuation in his life; Buffy. Hell, there’s even an easily missed line about him still living with his mother, which we’ll come back to in a few years.

If I’ve said it once, I’ll say it again – I love Buffyverse flashbacks. They allow for goofy wigs, bad accents, and a lot of production value for very little payoff. And seeing The Whirlwind in their prime is a treat, and seeing this episode paired with the one that aired simultaneously on Angel’s spinoff show is a hoot and a half. But what this all amount to is finally humanizing Spike, so to speak. Insofar as a vampire can be humanized. While there are still gags and punchlines, Spike’s backstory is told with fanfare and bombastic joy. But we also learn why he ticks at all, let alone how it happens. He needs to tie himself to a woman – sometimes ANY woman (coughcoughHarmonycoughcough) to feel validated. This stars when he is a human trying to show his culture and class to win a woman’s heart, all the way to Buffy and wanting to get in fights, to “dance”. He always thinks he knows the way to win his chosen woman over and almost always is shown to have failed, at least inevitably. Even Dru, who we see leaves him in a cheeky callback to Season’ 3’s “Lover’s Walk”, can’t be bothered to stick around. Because eventually, Spike’s play for every woman’s heart fails, and he’s alone again.

While learning about all of this doesn’t really help Buffy figure out what causes these Slayer’s to loose and die, Spike does offer the one bit of insight he actually has all episode; Buffy – and the other Slayer’s he killed before her – want to die. At least eventually. Either they get tired of the fight or they just can’t keep going. He feels it each time he kills one and he can feel it growing in Buffy, even now. She can’t deal with this, particularly because Spike almost immediately tries to make out with her and, but also because she knows she feels the same thing he’s describing. She just doesn’t know it yet. But the season-long story is just getting started and we’ll see where it goes from here. Just know that she tears him down, he weeps into a pile of money, and then he swears revenge by way of shotgun.

This fails immediately as he sees Buffy herself torn down over the news that her mother is not getting better and the tests she has to go through are getting more complex and requiring overnight hospital stays. All the fighting in the world and she can’t protect the things she loves from natural causes. Spike sits with her and they just sit in silence, Spike continuing to show that vampires can feel and have empathy, even if the lore would want people to think otherwise. Its a touching scene and SMG, who gets a lot of time in this episode being in various types of pain, once again acts through her eyes and delivers a solid performance, here. There is a lot to come between these two before the season wraps and we’re just getting this thing started.

Elsewhere there isn’t much going on. Riley and the rest of the gang go back out to hunt down the vampire that staked Buffy and find him, in a den full of others. Riley suggests coming back in the AM when they are sleeping, but instead just walks in a few hours later, casually stakes the punk rocker vamp that stabbed his girlfriend, and then tosses a live grenade into the crowd before bolting out of there, doing a pure Hollywood “don’t even look at the explosion behind me”-moment. This dude has some issues both related to and not related to his relationship, but these are just seeds being sown for now. Otherwise, there isn’t much else to say. Everything is tied up in the Spike+Buffy plot this episode and its all very good. Its been a minute since we had an episode tied directly to one specific character or pair of characters that didn’t encompass the whole cast. This was a lot of fun and well worth the wait.

Episode Rating: 92

Additional Notes:
-Boreanaz’s wig and accent are terrible and I love them. Also, why does Darla never have any kind of accent, even?
-Dru’s oddness is played up a bit much in most of here scenes, but we do get to see Darla comment on how she’s a bit too goofy and I like the awareness
-the best line isn’t a line, really – its when Spike jabs Buffy in her wound then gets a headache at the Bronze and they both just look at the surrounding crowd with big “oh sod off” expressions and no one cares that a man just hit a woman and caused her to yelp in pain
-both fight scenes with Spike and the two Slayers are expertly paced and shot, and I do like the artistic flourish of having Spike in New York talking to current-day Buffy during the whole ordeal
-Giles actually wants to help but has nothing to help with. I assume he did give Buffy the money to give Spike, though
-Spike wants chicken wings and we don’t see him eat them. Does he eat them? I didn’t think Buffyverse vampires could eat anything…?
-Xander and co. not understanding basic military hand signals is hilarous, but wouldn’t Xander remember them? Not even a single line about “I used to know this kind of stuff”?

“Family” Season 5, Ep. 6

Family
Written and Directed by: Joss Whedon
Air Date: November 7, 2000

After spending a lot of time with her around but very little time actually with Tara over the last 20+ episodes, but getting hints at some of her deeper, darker secrets in the same timespan, its finally the occasion to dig a but more into her story. And what a depressing, on-the-nose, and altogether comically stereotypical story it is. But to get there, we have to first investigate the overly obvious double meaning of the episodes title, “Family” – if you hadn’t gathered, the Scoobies are more or less an adoptive family of goofballs, and Tar – mostly from the sidelines – has looked in lovingly. Look at the way she just observes them as they help Buffy move back out of a (terrible, stupid corner) dorm so she can go be with her personal, blood relation family while her mom’s illness is still a mystery. She smiles as the boys roughhouse, cracks jokes when she gets a moment (even if they fall flat), and just enjoys being “part of the gang”, even if only just barely.

But then on the eve of her 20th birthday, while everyone gathers at The Magic Box to continue researching Glory (who hasn’t been named, yet, on the show, something I didn’t remember) who should show up but her actual, honest-to-god blood relatives, chief amongst them her father and her cousin (played by Amy Adams in a bit of before-it-could-be-considered-stunt casting). They want to be there for her birthday but you can just see deep into the beady black eyes of her father that there is something else afoot. Tara has never mentioned these people to Willow, immediately goes back into full stutter-mode, and calls her father “sir” with pointed subservience. This guy is not a good thing in her life and all signs point to her having basically attempted to escape him by running off to college. Also, they all seem to know about her witchcraft, so that’s a curious tidbit.

In the background, Riley and Spike – the two men in Buffy’s life even if she doesn’t know it yet – both begin to see only doom in their respective relationship with the Slayer. Riley isn’t part of the job anymore, continues to get pushed aside, and isn’t being filled in on what’s going on with Dawn, something Buffy has only told Giles about at this point. This leads him to storm off in an insanely passive aggressive way and then spends his time at the local demon bar, flirting with vampire women just to feel, well… anything. He doesn’t go far with the lady-of-the-night, sure, but the intent is still there: he wants affection and cheating always starts innocently. Meanwhile, Spike is busy playing with a mannequin head and interrupted from… whatever… he’s doing by Harmony who hears that some nasty demons have been recruited to kill the Slayer. Overjoyed, Spike runs off to watch the show so he can be free of his lust.

Earlier in the episode, Ben – that intern from the hospital Buffy’s mom has been getting treated at, laments the increasing number of crazies being brought in and goes to take a shower. He is almost killed by one of the previously mentioned demons before Glory – in an early and subtle bit of foreshadowing – stops the killing, absconds with the demon, and in a bit of B-tier actor ranting (mostly about how she can’t believe she actually did battle with a Vampire Slayer and how low that makes her feel she has fallen) convinces the beast to gather its friends and go a-huntin’. I like the look of these guys aside from their bloody red noses, which – when paired with their pale skin – really makes them look kind of clown like. Ah well.

This all comes to a head as The Magic Box is once again ground zero for a battle with some nasty customers. But it really gets messy because, fresh from being scolded by both her cousin and her father, Tara casts a spell that backfires (when has that happened before?) and instead of keeping her potential demon essence hidden (something her father warns her friends will toss her aside because of so best come on home then, lil’ Tara…!) she makes it so Buffy and co. can’t see any demon at all, period. This leads to a fight against a trio of monsters that just walk in and start beating Buffy up. Kudos to the writers for giving Buffy enough Slayer-know-how to at least sense them coming, but it isn’t enough and soon everyone is fighting the air and losing terribly. Spike rushes in to watch Buffy die but audibly rolls his eyes as he jumps in to save her. He jumps in to save Tara, too, in a second, but for now the demons are dead after Tara reverses the spell. Her father makes her come clean but in a comedic moment of genius, Anya wants to know what kind of demon Tara is. No one in her family can answer.

Just when everything seems to come to a stalemate and Willow and Tara’s love is shown to not be enough to warm the jerky dad’s hearth, Spike jumps in again, punches Tara in the face, and is met with instant headache. Tara is all human. Spike then calls it; Tara’s family created the superstition that the women all turn into nasty demons at 20 years of age and thus must go home and fall in line to the men’s bidding to stay under control. Its all a lie and after caught, they attempt to threaten to remove her by force. But Buffy, Giles, Dawn and the rest step up, declare Tara part of their family, and the zealot-y bastards are out of there. Everyone celebrates Tara’s birthday and Willow and Tara float in the air. Kind of a lame one but funny and sweet in its own way. A nice way to make Tara start fitting in more with the group and getting her backstory resolved, before the big meat of the season starts to take hold.

Episode Rating: 80

Additional Notes:
-Glory’s actress really might not be that good, guys. I’m beginning to second-guess my own “Big Bad” ranking…
-Episode 1 of this season had Buffy realize she needed Giles to be her Watcher again and help her understand her own lore, but so far there has been very little of that, particularly from him. It will come, but coming up she’ll just take it into her own hands a bit
-Riley shows up to Tara’s birthday like nothing happened and the dude is up to no good
-The Magic Box fight against the demons is really good, both before and after the spell wears off. That curb stomp on the steps is brutal
-The cousin and the dad were enough; the redneck-y brother was a bit much and over-the-top for my tastes
-Spike uses that odd hook/handheld/knife thing and I really don’t think its a practical weapon, honestly
-Everyone wonders what to get Tara for her birthday and Giles is stunned that they are in a magic shop and can’t think of a single thing to get a witch. But, I mean, he got her a simple crystal ball so who’s he foolin’?
-Sorry for this review, I need to start getting better and taking and keeping notes as I watch.
-Oh, and best line? After the dad threatens the group, Giles assures him that it isn’t just a handful of girls he’s dealing with, but everyone. Except for Spike, who agrees and says “I don’t care what happens.”